BEDTIME by Anthony Avina

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*I was given a free electronic copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.*

The problem I encounter when reviewing books is that I promise that I will be truthful when reviewing anyone’s work. The question sometimes arises (in my mind): how honest is too honest? I highly respect anyone who has put forth the immense effort it takes to write a book. Any book (good or bad) takes work, and often beginning authors are sensitive about their creations. Understandably so. However, I believe that to give a book a higher rating just to spare an author’s feelings is not only dishonest, but also does a disservice to that author.

‘Bedtime’ by Anthony Avila has the potential to be a terrific novella, however in it’s current incarnation it is a bit of a disaster. What ‘Bedtime’ really needs is an attentive proofreader and a diligent editor. The plot is interesting and the characters aren’t bad, but this novella is so full of grammatical and editorial errors that it is difficult to read. For example: ” and never shied away from eating whatever her hearts content.” The author probably meant to say, “… and never shied away from eating whatever she desired.” Or even ‘… she always ate to her heart’s content.” Of the two options I would have chosen to use: “… and never shied away from eating whatever she desired.” There are so many of these types of errors that I could list over fifty examples. A good editor and/or proof-reader would help the author catch these errors before the novella was released. In fact, thanks to the wonders of electronic books, it is not too late to make the changes necessary and to re-release this book.

On the first few pages the author mentions California four times. This is unnecessary, and I have never heard of “California sun drenched skin.” Is this different from sun drenched skin in Oregon? Or New York? Sun drenched skin is descriptive enough without adding the word ‘California’ in front if it.  Other examples of poor proof reading occur when incorrect words are used, such as “detour her” instead of “deter her” and “infuriation” (which I do not think is an actual word) instead of “frustration.” This happens again when Timothy “balls” his eyes out. It should be ‘bawl’ not ‘ball’.

Timothy and Nancy are a young, married couple with a four year old daughter named Felicity. They live in California and both have successful careers. When their previously calm four year old daughter starts waking up screaming in the middle of the night they are unsure what is happening. When Felicity tells her parents that there is a monster in her closet it causes different reactions for each parent. Timothy is inclined to disbelieve her claims while Nancy gives her the benefit of the doubt. Is there really something lurking in the little girl’s closet? Or are her nightmares just a figment of her imagination? You will need to read ‘Bedtime’ to find out.

The storyline sounds promising and the plot isn’t bad. It’s just too bad that I was unable to really enjoy it due to poor editing. This could have been a 3.5 or even 4 star story, but with all the errors I cannot rate it higher than 2 out of 5 stars.

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